50 Ways I've Got You

a pledge to my patients

You are reading Asking The Patient by Dr. Zed Zha, a doctor’s love letter that gives patients their voices back. If you enjoy it, please comment, like, share, and/or subscribe!

It’s been a hard week.

On Wednesday morning, I sent and received many text messages that meant to say a lot more, but the only words that made it through were: “How are you holding up?” Usually, when these words are used so many times in one day, someone is sick. Maybe I was sick. Maybe we were all sick. I briefly considered calling in to work and taking a mental health day.

Then I remembered that I am a proud immigrant serving an immigrant community, many of whom are much more scared, disappointed, and hurt than me by a world turned upside down.

How are they holding up?

The dread I felt only moments ago was replaced by a sense of mission: I needed my patients to know that no matter who threatened to strip away their rights, I still had their backs.

At the risk of being crude

There must be fifty ways

I’ve got you

Fifty ways I’ve got you

two people in space finding each other

1. I will listen to you.

2. I will believe your symptoms, the FIRST time you tell me about them.

3. I think you are doing your best.

4. I will respect your pronouns. And if I get it wrong, I will apologize and try again.

5. Who you love will not affect how I treat you.

6. You will be in charge of your body. The final call in decisions about your body is always yours.

7. Your biology will not define who you are. And I will support you in your self-definition.

8. You can withdraw treatment consent anytime for any reason. During a treatment, if you tell me to stop, I stop. There will not be “whether you like it or not.”

9. You don’t need anyone else’s permission for me to care for you.

10. I will tell you all the options and alternatives (that I know of), even when you tell me “But you’re the doctor!”

11. I will not shame you, however you look/smell/talk/spend money/eat/feel, your dignity always comes first.

12. I will not blame you. You will never do anything to “deserve” to be sick in my books.

13. I will not hold my medical degree over you. You can Google, TikTok, ask your friends, and listen to your mom… your lived experiences make you the expert in your body. And your research will be respected. End of story.

14. You are my patient, not what’s inside of you, who’s beside you, or hovering over you.

15. I will support your decision to be a childless/childfree cat/dog/fish/reptile lady.

16. I will support your decision to become a parent.

17. I will advocate for sexual health beyond reproduction.

18. I will not prescribe “just go lose weight.”

19. I will abandon BMI as “the fifth vital sign.”

20. I believe the healthcare environment should fit you, not the other way around.

21. I will not come up with any arbitrary numbers to restrict you.

22. I will not accuse you of “faking” your disability.

23. I will not tell you “You are just stressed” or that “It’s all in your head.”

24. The years you have accumulated on earth will be regarded as wisdom, not a reason to dismiss you.

25. I will never call you “dramatic.”

26. I will never call you “non-compliant.”

27. With your permission, you are never too “dirty” for me to touch you.

    

    two touching hands

28. I will look into my own biases. Constantly.

29. I will check my own privileges before I make recommendations.

30. I will keep learning, if not from textbooks/new research/data, from you.

31. But I will question said textbooks/research/data if they don’t represent you.

32. I will read history and call out any relics of racial pseudoscience in what we do today.

33. You don’t have to “fit” the textbooks for me to believe that you have what you have.

34. I won’t be afraid to admit “I don’t know.” And if I can’t figure it out, I will refer you to someone who can.

35. I will fight the insurance companies for you. (Oh, you know I will.) And if you don’t have insurance/papers/other manmade nonsense, I will still fight for you.

36. I will choose being human over being “professional.”

37. You are also allowed to be human, who can lose medications, miss appointments, make mistakes, grow, and learn.

38. I will join and recruit others to be on #TeamPatient.

39. I will respect your cultural, spiritual, and social beliefs and traditions.

40. I will not make fun of you with my coworkers or behind your back.

41. I will not let you apologize for your body.

42. I will not “punish” you for having a life besides coming to the doctor’s appointment.

43. I will not make your appointment about me.

44. I will not ask you to put a number on your pain and call it a day.

45. I will treat your pain.

46. I will give you space to express yourself.

47. You don’t have to tiptoe around my ego. But if feel that you must, then, you have my gratitude.

48. I will admit and apologize for my mistakes.

49. I will not lose my sense of humor, optimism, honesty, or humanity.

50. I will teach my students, residents, colleagues, and myself all of the above. All of the time.

On November 6, I got out of bed, put on my best self, and went to work. Not because everything was going to be OK. But because it was a good day to practice some “I’ve got you” medicine. It still is.🩵